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It’s amazing isn’t it? Barely two inches of snow and the whole of London thinks this is something drastic. I find this annoying, people constantly say on travel reports to “travel with care and caution”. Aren’t we always supposed to travel with caution? That’s what the Highway Code tells us. Or at least that’s what I think, considering the amount of idiots on the road. One driver under 25 dies every hour in an “accident”. And these accidents aren’t caused by unskilled or stupid drivers. No, they are caused by reckless morons who drive at eighty miles an hour in either a high performance car (Porsche 911) or a cheap piece of shit (Citroen AX), think they can handle the performance of these vehicles, and hit some poor unsuspecting soul who doesn’t see them, (and they shouldn’t because the speed limit is seventy), but can hear the terrible sound of Lady GaGa (I’m ashamed to know that!) boom out of the sorry excuses for speakers. This “accident” wont cause death to the insane git because he will be protected by airbags, but to the careful driver who is driving purposely slowly cause they know that snow actually has an effect on driving.

It’s a wonder how they allow these people driving licenses. Actually it isn’t. If examiners can give the class whore (who will remain unnamed) an A in biology and fail me, then I’m genuinely not surprised that they allow people I hate driving licenses.

The more I get older, the more I start despising everything around me. Music, games, people, television and the fact I haven’t managed to achieve anything memorable in the whole 18-and-a-half-years I’ve lived. I’m sitting here learning to drive, learning to talk Japanese, learn how to play the bass guitar properly!, re-learn French, learn basic German (I’m sure World War III is around the corner and this may be useful), try and find an open mic-night just to do 5 minutes of stand-up, but can’t because everyone is a Frankie Boyle tribute act, and about to audition for a new “rock” band.

Two inches of snow has to come and make my day a whole (note this is the correct spelling) lot worse. I’m beginning to hate children more and more this may probably be because I have two younger brothers but the real reason is that they are ignorant little snovellites (look at me inventing new words), who think they are better than everyone else. And then they think that that makes them cool.

So hopefully schools can come along and knock the ignorance out of their little heads. No. Schools are shit because the local government (run by the Conservatives where I live) are afraid that wont be worthwhile for pupil’s who will be distracted, by the huge amount of God’s dandruff readily available to use and throw at people. Then these gits decide to throw these great heaps of dandruff at me! The only thing worse than a snowball hitting you square in the back of the head, is having one thrown at you and missing you altogether. Although if that same snowball break’s the window of Tesco, then I’m happy!

And forgive me for me being quite evil in my words. But I’m only giving you the truth. The snow that is keeping kids out of school is the same snow that is keeping kids smoking, drinking, fucking and being degenerate morons out of school.

I used to like snow, when I was eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, meant no school, no teachers, a day to do whatever I felt like. So I listened to music, really loud, which annoyed the neighbours. But at least it was constructive and something I learned from. Now, when it snows it shows that someone is going to ruin my fucking day!

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